


What Am I Doing Here?

by alilyinhighgarden



Series: When You Get This Close, You Can Feel The Heat [1]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Being Adults And Having Conversations, Fluff, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 01:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15984740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alilyinhighgarden/pseuds/alilyinhighgarden
Summary: "A part of me wonders where I fit into this new version of us. Roman finally has the damn Universal Title. I left and you had the fucking year of your life and you have the Intercontinental Title. I worked my ass off in rehab to get back here and- and I’m just fucking here, by you guys side.”Set in the week between the 9/3/2018 and 9/10/2018 episodes of RAW.





	What Am I Doing Here?

“Are you happy to be here?”

Seth cannot even fault Dean for the confused look he shot him. After all the question would seem out of nowhere to anyone who had not been spending the last ten minutes Dean had been in the bathroom inside his head.

“ _What_?”

“Are you happy to be here?” Seth repeated, as if saying it a second time would make the question more transparent.

“Of course. You know I like waking up next to this ass.” As if to emphasize his point he took off the towel that had been hooked around his waist and snapped it at Seth.

“No,” Seth rolled his eyes, ignoring his now very naked boyfriend, “I mean back at work. Back with Roman and me.”

“Well, I could do without getting my ass beat down several weeks in a row. I mean I’m gone for nine months and now that I’m back we’re spending our time fighting half the goddamn locker room again.”

“Would we be The Shield if at least half the locker room wasn’t scared,” Seth offered with a smile and is grateful when he gets one in return. Still…

“Since you came back you just seem distant. Angry. And when we’re out there it all feels different.”

It had started out with small things. Like the fact that he did not smile on the night he came back to rapturous applause. Or that he did not seem to share the joy of Seth’s win at SummerSlam when previously he probably would have launched himself at Seth in celebration. He began to catalogue Dean’s behavior and when it was just them in their hotel room or driving Dean was- well Dean. The man he had come to know again after so long. But when they were at work something felt off and Dean reminded him of a hungry animal pacing in its cage.

Dean waved him off. “I’m fine.”

“Dean-.”

“Really. I’m good,” he said as he reached into his bag for a pair of boxers to pull on.

Seth stood up and walked over to Dean, placing a hand on his lower back. “ _Come on._ ”

“Fine,” Dean huffed and rounded on him, “What am I doing here?”

Seth flinched, “What do you mean?”

“I dunno-,” Dean rubbed his neck, “I guess a part of me wonders where I fit into this new version of us. Roman finally has the damn Universal Title. I left and you had the fucking year of your life _and_ you have the Intercontinental Title. I worked my ass off in rehab to get back here and- and I’m just fucking here, by you guys side.”

“You know you’re not just by our side, right? There is no Shield without Dean Ambrose.”

“I know but-“ Dean trailed off.

Seth is a bit hurt that being by his side could be considered a lesser option but he also gets it. He understands entirely too well what it’s like to feel aimless. Like the goal you _should_ be moving towards is out of your grasp. Their job was to fight their way to a title and once they have it fight off anyone who dares try and get it from them. Seth knows how desperate he got when he could not see a direct endgame to the top and the disastrous choice he made because of it. He knew that Dean would never make the same choice he did, selling out was not his style, but it was obvious that this was eating at him.

“But you want some gold.”

“Of course but has the situation not sunk in? The two people I’m closest to in the whole fucking world are the ones holding the titles,” Dean’s words came out bitter, like he had thought this situation through more times than he would admit and had reached a conclusion he did not like very time, “So I’m in a real shitty situation, aren’t I?”

“You could challenge me.” The words came out of his mouth before he even had a chance to think them over. As if they originated on his tongue rather than his brain.

Dean leveled him with a pretty impressive glare but underneath the hardened expression Seth could tell he was considering it. The thought made his insides squirm but Seth refused to take the words back. In fact, he pressed on, in an attempt to push the idea into reality.

“Seriously. Challenge me.”

“I’m not going to fight you Seth.” There was an edge of _something_ in his voice. Perhaps a warning.

Seth did not have the best track record when it came to heeding warnings. “Why not?”

“Because-,” Dean grimaced, like what he was thinking caused him physical pain, “because I don’t know _what shit_ is gonna get dragged up if we’re staring each other down on opposite sides of that ring.”

Seth’s mouth went dry because he understood Dean’s concern. His sins and their past may have been forgiven but the way they mercilessly tried to tear each other apart could never be forgotten.

“We’ll make an agreement, here and now,” Seth voice wavered and he hated it, “That it’s just professional and whatever happens we’ll leave it in the ring.”

They could do that, right? Just fight and it not require all the emotional baggage between them to serve as a third opponent. Seth wanted to convince himself that they could but deep down he was not sure. Nor was he sure how he would deal with putting his hands on Dean with the intent to keep him down. Not now, when all he wanted to do when he saw him injured was to find a way to make the pain stop. Would getting into the mindset he needed to try and beat Dean remind them too much of the past?

But Dean needed a quest. It was clear that the reality he had come back to had thrown him and it was manifesting in a type of anger that Seth had not seen before. One that seemed to have made a home in every taught muscle. If you had told a past version of himself that he could see Dean angrier than he had been during the times they were trying to take each other down he would not have believed you. But Seth realized now that what he had been on the receiving end of was not anger but rather Dean’s unrelenting pain. This simmering rage was not something he could turn a blind eye to so if he had to lay his title on the line to quell that need within the man he loved… Well- he learned some time ago that some things were more important than a belt.  

Still, he obviously did not completely buy his internal rationalizing because when Dean finally said in a tone both resigned and final, “I don’t _want_ to take the title _from you_ ,” Seth felt muscles he had not even realized he had tensed up relax.

If his title was not a solution they could agree to then Seth still needed to find one. He was The Architect after all. If he could not come up with a plan for Dean then what use was that moniker. He leaned against the dresser and mindlessly turned his phone over in his hand, again, and again, and again while Dean threw on some sweatpants and got ready to sleep.

Finally an idea struck him.

“We don’t have _all_ the titles you know.”

“I’m not trying to pick a fight with Ronda or Bliss,” Dean said sarcastically, “And I’m sure as hell not going back to Smackdown. No matter how much I still want to punch Styles in the face.”

Seth laughed at that.

“You know I’m not talking about them. There happens to be a pair of belts that _we need to reclaim_ ,” he motioned between the two of them, “And they’re sitting on the waist of some dudes we also happen to have unfinished business with.”

“You want to go after the tag titles,” Dean asked, a look of cautious hope dawning on his face.

“Fuck yeah. And not just cause I’ll love to see their faces when we walk away with them.” Seth stepped over to Dean and took his face is in his hands. The beard he was accustomed to but he was still getting used to being able to see those piercing blue eyes without the mess of hair he had sported for so long. “But mainly I want to go after them because I _never_ feel as alive as I do when I’m in a ring with you.”

Dean smiled wide at that, a hint of pink coloring his cheeks. “Alright man. Let’s get our titles back.” His hands grabbed at Seth’s waist, pulled him closer and pressed his mouth to Seth’s. For the first time in weeks Seth allowed himself to melt into his touch without hesitation or worry or a little voice screaming that something was not right. He slid his hands down to Dean’s neck and basked in the warmth of him. Seth had figured out what was bothering Dean and now, hopefully, they had a solution.

After a few minutes Dean pulled away, brow furrowed, and asked breathlessly, “What about the Intercontinental Title?”

“I’ll hold both,” Seth said with a shrug, “Don’t you think I’d look good with the IC title on my shoulder and a tag title around my waist?”

Dean’s tongue ran along his bottom lip. It looked incredibly enticing when paired with the smirk he was sporting. “That depends.” Dean’s fingers found their way under his shirt, sliding along the top of Seth’s jeans. “Is that _all_ you’re wearing?”

Seth had always been attracted to Dean but occasionally he found himself struck with how little Dean could do or say and still get him impossibly turned on. It was then he decided that there had been enough talking for the night.

“For you, yeah, that’s all I’ll wear,” Seth said while he mouthed at his pulse point, feeling the beat quicken as Dean let out a low moan. Fuck, he was sexy, Seth thought as he guided them towards the bed.

“Fucking awesome,” was the last thing Dean said before Seth pushed him down and cut off any more words with crushing kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> The Dean and Seth segment with Baron on last Monday's RAW made me smile and also gave us a Dean who seemed far less pissed off than the one we've had in the weeks since SummerSlam. This was my attempt to answer why.
> 
> Shout out to Kyrene3 for being my beta and listening to my long winded tangents about Seth and Dean/Seth.


End file.
